Great Expectations

Great Expectations

As parents we always want our children to have it better than we did. Even if we had a great childhood ourselves we still want better. But what is better? Is it giving them more stuff, anything they want? Is it never saying "no", maybe fighting their battles for them? Praising them for every little thing they do? Does any of this really make their lives better? Does it help them become better adults in the long run?

Sometimes I think as parents, we want our children to succeed so badly that we choose to lower the bar, and even help them over it, in order that they don't fail.This isn't helping them. By lowering the bar, we've already set them up for failure. We've told them "I don't think you can do any better than this". We've put a limit on their hopes and dreams. We've stifled their futures. We've lowered our expectations to ensure success but instead we cause failure.We hurt their self-esteem. We are basically telling our children "I don't believe in you", "this is as high as you can ever expect to go in life".  Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we'll back them and be there for them even through mistakes and failures. That we will cheer for them even when things are hard.

We need to set the bar so high that it will take a lifetime to reach it! Remember when you were a kid and your parents would say to you "you can be the president of the United States of America if you want to"? Most of us knew that we never would be and probably didn't want to be. But it sure was nice to know that someone thought we could.That we were capable of great things! Our children need to know this too. They need to know that sometimes the road to success is long and hard but that we, as parents, have faith that they can achieve their dreams -- no matter how lofty they may seem.

When we do raise the bar for our children they achieve far beyond our expectations. Even if they don't make it all the way to the top, they'll be alright. They will still go higher than they ever thought possible. They will know that life takes hard work and perseverance, and that sometimes we make mistakes but that is okay. They learn that even if they fail they can get back up and try again. They learn the value of hard work and the joy of success. They learn to make a plan and take the necessary steps to achieve the goal. They learn that no matter what, their family will always be there to celebrate the goals reached or for encouragement during the rough patches. 

As parents, part of our job is to help our children become productive, well-rounded, successful adults. Able to hold their own in this world we live in. We can not do this by lowering the bar, only by raising the bar can we truly help our children be successful in life.

I don't think any of us know the heights we can achieve until we are truly challenged. I challenge you, as parents, to push your children harder, have higher expectations and encourage them along the way. Stop holding them back because you're afraid for them. Mistakes are okay, they help us learn and grow. 

Set the bar all the way to the heavens and watch your children soar! Be proud of both their accomplishments and yours, as parents of successful adults!

Becky

Information Is The Same As Wisdom. Right?

We have noticed people today have forsaken wisdom for information. That Google has replaced textbooks and shortcuts have overshadowed study and knowledge. 
If knowing something takes more than a few minutes then we don't have time, after all I don't need to know how to multiply if my phone has a calculator right? The problem is we don't think for ourselves any more.

INFORMATION IS NOT KNOWLEDGE.

Knowledge is the earnest study of a subject  to truly understand the workings of something.
If I Google Taylor Swift and look at her bio, read a few blogs about her, learn all the lyrics to all of her songs, it doesn't mean I know her. Or if I google "how to install a windshield wiper" that doesn't make me a mechanic, I hope no one would go to a doctor that didn't have a degree.
Knowledge requires effort and time.

The same thing applies to becoming an adult. 

In generations past, people didn't look to books about parenting by some nut that has never had children. If we wanted to know how to be a man we didn't look to GQ. If we wanted to know how to be a woman Cosmo was not our reference source.

No, we looked to our family and close community.

We watched the way our fathers provided for their family, how they conducted business, and how they interacted with other men. We watched our mothers take care of their family, nurture their children, and provide an environment that fostered family unity. So where did she get her instruction?

That's right GRANDMA!

This movement away from instruction by family to instruction by institution began about the turn of the century when our fathers moved from the farm to the factory in order to support their family. Suddenly that side by side example of manhood wasn't there. Society was further moved away in the 60's and 70's when women moved from the home to the work place. Now children began to be raised by the teachers in our schools.
Now I'm not knocking schools, but they can't raise your children. 

They can't provide wisdom. 

Wisdom is when knowledge is combined with experience.
I can read all the books on piano I want, learn all the notes, but until I sit down to play, I am not a musician. And I will never be a good musician until I practice. The more I practice the better I'll be. No one wants to be on an airplane where the pilot is at the controls for the first time. Yet we raise our children according to books written by people who have never had any. Even if we haven't read the books ourselves the ideas have permeated our society to the point that it has become the norm. 

Grandma would never do this! 

She was confident that not only has God blessed her with children, but that He has blessed her with everything she needed to raise them. She had the instincts that God had given her, she had her parents and grandparents, and she had the 6,000 years of wisdom given to her by the one who made her, contained in the Bible.

As we go through the next few weeks we are going to share what we have learned, and two things are going to become clear.

First: Parents need to get back to being parents. 
Stop letting society dictate what you do through political correctness. Start listening to the voice inside, and to people that have raised successful children before you as an example. 

And for God's sake stop asking Oprah what to do.

Second: Young people, stop rejecting the advice and wisdom of people who have gone before you. Look to people who have happy and successful as examples to follow. 

If you want to be an adult find an adult you respect and be like them.




                                                                                        RUSS

Did Grandma Have It Right All Along?

Today, kids have it easy. We make them the center of our universe.We're their chauffeurs, cooks, coaches, maids, and bankers. To top it all off we're suppose to be their best friends too! We put our lives on hold to take them to soccer and ballet, bring them their forgotten homework at school, and cater to their every desire. We give them toys, game systems, money, cars and trophies just for participating in a sport.

How did we get here? Did our grandparents have it right all along? 

Back in the day families believed in putting God first in their lives. Families worshiped and prayed together. You were expected to honor your family, obey and respect your parents, don't do anything to embarrass them, and come to their aid if a need arose without complaining. That's just what you did for your family.

Everyone was expected to pull their weight in the family. You were to do whatever needed to be done or whatever was asked of you- once again- without complaining! You were taught that if you worked a hard, honest days work you would be rewarded. It showed good character. Hard work equaled success.

Children gradually received more responsibility as they proved themselves trustworthy. By the time they were adults, they were prepared for that responsibility.

Now days we've extended childhood into the 20's and 30's. Our children have no idea how to be an adult or what it means. They have trouble with social interactions, being told "no" and not getting their way. As a result, they have trouble holding jobs, having lasting relationships and making commitments. We, as parents, have lowered the bar. We send our children the message "you're not good enough", "you can't do it on your own", "you will always need me". We have done them a disservice. They deserve better. We need to once again raise the bar for them. They need to know it's okay to make mistakes and even fail. They need us to believe in them and encourage them.

So, maybe Grandma did have it right all along. Maybe we need to follow in her footsteps for the next generation.

Becky